Fears...Confessions...New Beginnings...Trust

August is almost over and I still haven't posted our new numbers.  August's official numbers for us were....
#12 for a baby girl and #8 for siblings. Because there have been a couple of referrals go out this month, it looks like we are unofficially #10 for a baby girl and #7 for siblings.  I still hold back getting things ready as I'm not sure what God has planned for us.  The courts in Ethiopia are closed for the rainy season until the end of September, so I'm still not really sure when our referral will come.  God has a plan and looking at our lives in this moment, I have a feeling it will be a while still. 

Having a child who has begun his last year in high school and will leave next June for a college which is 11 hours away, I've really begun to struggle with and question if I've done a good job in training him to follow Christ.  I know I have not done a perfect job. and we have had our share of troubles.  I read so much about how many teens/college students leave their faith behind when they leave home.  Will he live for Christ when he's out on his own?  Will he try to be a light in a world of darkness?  So many questions.... I've always known that our children are only ours for a little while..I've prayed all his life that when we let him "fly", he will soar.  I'm still praying...so this brings me to our adoption.  Will I be good enough?  God has taught me so much in the last 17 years of parenting and I'm still learning.  With each school year...it seems like a "new beginning"...more so than January 1st and I look for ways to improve.  With our children being so active (especially in the fall), we have gotten away from sitting down for dinner together every day and many times have not "gotten to" our family devotions because we "just ran out of time" in the day because nobody was home at the same time.  I have struggled with this for a long time.  Well, this year, I came up with a new plan!!!!  No more "running out of time".  With the new school year we have decided to meet together for breakfast and time with God.  We all meet at 6:15am and have a good 20 minutes together.  I'll admit it is very hard to get up that early, but it has been soooooo worth it.  What a way to start out our day!  Now we are still in the first week of doing this, but boy, has it ever made a difference in how all my children and husband leave the house for the day.  God has provided so much peace, and I pray it will bring us all closer to Him and each other.  So back to our adoption...God is preparing our hearts.  Each day I have to put my trust in Him and lift all my children up to Him.  I'm trusting that He has a plan for each of them and is even taking care of our little one(s) on Ethiopia right now as we wait.  I'm so looking forward to what God has planned!!!